36 weeks - The final countdown

I feel like a whale. In one week, my belly went straight out. My medium maternity shirts now have belly hanging out the bottom. The fabulous red-neck pregnant look. So, now it is larges and long mediums only, further limiting my clothing choices. Of course, if this one goes like the other ones, I am only looking at three more weeks or so. Both of my first two were born at 39 weeks. I am well aware that that does not mean it will happen this way this time, but - a girl can dream.

As of December 2, my husband was no longer active duty military. It happened suddenly and without warning. We are now without an income. I know there is not "good" time to be without that very important thing, it does seem like it happened at the worst time in our lives. Nine months pregnant, twenty days away from Christmas. We have no job prospects simply because we were not expecting this to happen in the least. Hubby is applying for jobs. We are not limited by geography, we will move anywhere. I think he is focusing on federal jobs, they tend to be military friendly and all his military training transfers to alot of these positions. These kinds of jobs take time. (I will clarify that this was a voluntary, honorable seperation - they offered us a terrible billet and said take it or get out....)

I would definitely say that this situation is much harder for me simply because I am pregnant. I am more emotional and easily overwhelmed, so I have cried alot. We saw alot of our plans and dreams simply disappear with this sudden life change. We are at a loss of what to expect from our future.

This is what we do know: The Lord led us here. We were given an ultimatum and God spoke CLEARLY as to what choice we were to make. This was one of the hardest decisions we have made, to give up income and security for the sake of our family. Family comes first, paychecks come second. That is a very noble statement, but when you are sitting here without any idea how you will pay for anything, with a baby on the way, it is very scary. We are trusting in the Lord. HE led us to this point, and HE will lead us the rest of the way. We are simply trusting in HIM. We have already seen fruits from this decision in our family, we have been blessed and brought together in a way we have not been since joining the military. We know we are sitting where HE wants us to be. It is the not knowing where we are going next or how in the world we will get there that is so very scary.

This has been a turbulent month in my life and in this pregnancy. Jon did sign up for the reserves, but we are waiting for a billet, which means we had to buy some insurance to cover having this baby boy.... which equals an obscene amount of mula... something we no longer have coming in... hahaha. (this was not funny two weeks ago, but now I have come to accept it and it is so surreal it is comical to me.)

You wonder why God allows things to happen the way HE does sometimes. In my selfish timing, I think his plan should have involved me having the baby, THEN getting out... But, the Bible says, "His ways are not our ways." So, for now I am just focusing on having this little man and taking each day a step at a time. We are all healthy, we are all together, and we will soon welcome a new little addition to our sweet little family. I am truly blessed!